Sunday, September 18, 2011

Free Pass

As you may or may not be aware, I recently was part of a friend's wedding party. A fellow bridesmaid was given a free pass with the bridesmaids. However, I was completely unaware that the free pass was a real physical wallet-sized certificate. (I took a picture, but it incriminatingly listed my full name and had breasts in the background. I am not comfortable posting pictures of other peoples' breasts. Maybe once I start up the new blog - tentatively titled Sex Lies and Videotape? Caprices and Crochets? Pretty Lies? - I will post pictures of my own (lie #1).)

Anyways, for the record, this is what a real live Free Pass says: "The bearer of this pass is entitled - and in fact, positively encouraged - to canoodle, fondle, pet or otherwise molest the individual known as Sara K without fear of reprisal, hurt, jealousy or such statements as 'Well if you could, can I?'" (Signed and dated)

In case you're wondering, molestation did occur.

1 comments:

  1. Please note, dear readers, that she failed to report precisely who was molested by whom, nor the degree to which said molestation occurred.

    Is all I'm saying.

    ReplyDelete